i just want to watch tv shows 24/7 and not have to worry about school and homework all the time and i’m really sad about this
There are icicles inside my chest cavity
that freeze a little harder whenever I step into a packed room.
The only way to thaw them
is by leaving.
And no one will ever know how many times I go over
and over an event after it’s happened
like Orion crosses the sky repeatedly every night,
always moving from one patch of stars to another.
There are certain avalanches that could never compare
to the shaking of my hands when I meet someone new,
or the cross-country race of my heart
whenever I’m simply invited to a party.
Inside my bones, I swear there are instruction manuals
inscribed on my marrow for how to avoid social disasters.
It’s written in my DNA.
I wish my voice knew how to sing
instead of whisper or mumble.
I wish all this anxiety were a darkness
I could actually learn to see through,
instead of some never-ending night with no electricity..